Highest Of Horses, Littlest Of Ponies

*Not* "Good Job I Kept My Turntable" (or any other)

>Sorry, didn’t catch that

>Anyone who has been following me for any length of time will no that before too long I’m going to get saddled up and gallop on over to cause trouble at the homeopathy homestead – but not just yet. Instead, another pate hate: announcers who cannot pronounce English. Now I understand that some people have regional or international accents, and that for many people English is not the mother tongue or first language, and there are antidiscrimination laws (as there bloody well should be), but even so -what is the point of hiring somebody to make announcements if they can’t speak bloody English properly???
I travel every day (well, Mon-Fri) from Bounds Green to Hampton Wick and back, and in the process of doing so I spend a fair bit of time on the platforms at Finsbury Park and Vauxhall stations. And so I hear quite a lot of announcements (mainly apologies for how crap the service is, and how trains going south to Brixton are being disrupted by a problem on an earlier northbound train at Tottenham Hale (WTF? I’m travelling *away* from there. Why the fuck is my southbound train affected by something behind me in the opposite direction???). Over time I’ve got used to them but even so, some of the pronounciation is abysmal and if I didn’t know what they were saying I wouldn’t have a fucking clue.
“Chan jeer fo veetorrlan and arnasharay sovvisiss*”. Plea stanclir off daclossindorce”. “Nobbidan”. “Plea stabby abby arlan”. “Welcome to Fibberypar station”. “Diztren is var Shabbadan, dinnex is var Jessindan Sart”. “Pliss allow dipasanchas off ditren befo boddin, and use ollavillible dorce”
This really isn’t supposed to be a racist rant and I hope it isn’t taken that way. But just as good vision is (presumably) a prerequisite for a train driver, surely good diction ought to be for an announcer?

I’ll add more to this thread. Believe me.

*Change here for the Victoria Line and all national rail services. Please stand clear of the closing doors. Norbiton. Please stand behind the yellow line. Welcome to Finsbury Park station. This train is for Shepperton, the next is for Chessington South. Please allow the passengers off the train before boarding, and use all available doors”.